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The doctor slowly took her glasses off and began to speak. "I'm sorry to be the one to give you this news at eight in the morning, but after looking at the results of your biopsy and considering your symptoms and your mother's history, there's no doubt in my mind they're related to ovarian cancer. The first thing we need to do is refer you to a gynecologic oncologist, a person who specializes in cancers of the reproductive organs, and they will talk to you about the surgery we will perform on you to determine the stage of your cancer..."

Rain stopped listening to the doctor after she said the word cancer, the word echoing over and over in her head. The memories of her mother's fight with cancer flooded her mind, hitting with a force that caused her to suck in a breath. She remembered how much pain her mother was in after the surgery and after her chemotherapy treatments, how her mother wasn't able to do anything without becoming tired, how she spent the last months of her life lying in a bed, and how Rain had prayed for her mother's pain to end, wanting her to pass to a better place. ~It's a death sentence~ Rain thought, ~I've basically been given a death sentence~.

Rain heard bits and pieces of what the doctor said, giving a distracted nod every now and then, but she knew Micheal was listening intently for her. Micheal would squeeze her hand every few minutes to see if she was still with him, not liking how pale she had become or the blank expression on her face. He wanted to get her home as soon as possible, knowing she was on the verge of losing it and wondering how she was going to deal with yet another obsticle life had thrown her way.

~This can't be happening. After everything I've been through, after everything I've overcome, this is what's gonna kill me. I'm suppose to be in a wedding in a few months. Heck, I'm suppose to be getting married myself in December. Why did this have to happen now~? Rain felt Micheal urge her to stand and she looked from him to the doctor, who handed her some literature on ovarian cancer and the number of the specialist before wishing her luck and saying goodbye.

The ride home was all one big blur to Rain, it was like she was in some kind of dense fog, clearing briefly for her to see she was in Micheal's car then the fog rolled in again and cleared when Micheal had pulled into her driveway. He helped her out of the car and into the house, barely closing the front door before Rain wrapped her arms around him and buried her head into his shoulder...her sobs causing her entire body to shake as everything from that morning hit her all at once.

Micheal eased his arms around Rain as she granted the pain she felt release.

Micheal stood there for a good five or ten minutes with Rain in his arms, whispering words of comfort as the tears continued to fall. Even after she was somehow able to stop the tears, Rain continued to stand where she was, resting her cheek on Micheal's shoulder.

"I can't believe I'm going to use this worn out phrase, but I kept expecting to wake up at any moment and discover this was all some bad, twisted, sick nightmare." Rain said in a hoarse voice. "I keep thinking of two things. First, I'm going to put my parents through another roller coaster ride when it comes to my health, and second, I'm gonna have to tell my fiance there's no way we can get married now because I more than likely won't survive to our wedding date. I should have known things were going to well."

"Rain, don't talk like you're already dead. I know the only thing you can think aboutright now is your mother's death, but that was over twenty years ago. The treatment of cancer has improved greatly since then and many people live long lives after battling cancer." Micheal reasoned. "I'm not gonna let you give up this easily because you can beat this, but not if you've already decided there's no hope."

"Micheal, I don't have the energy right now to stand here and argue with you over this. I know what I'm in for, I know what my chances are...and to put it midly, they're not that good."

"Let's not talk about this anymore okay? We're not going to solve anything by going at each other because once we've made up our minds on something, it takes an act of God to change it." Micheal said. "Why don't you go lie down for a while?"

"I think that's exactly what I'll do. I just want to forget this whole day ever happened, even if it's only for a few hours." Rain answered. "Actually as far as I'm concerned, this day IS over. Are you staying?"

"Yeah, I'm going to make your doctor's appointment for you, and I'll feel better if I was here in case you needed me."

"Would you make sure I'm up by seven? I don't want to put off telling my parents any longer than I have to."

"Whatever I can do to help." Micheal answered. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and a smile before Rain started towards her bedroom.

"Wait a minute." Micheal called after her. Rain stopped and turned towards him. "Do you want me to call Mark?"

~Of course that's what I want, stupid. Well, I really want him here with me~. "Uh, sure. He'll be back tomorrow morning so I guess you don't have to worry him right now, but I did tell him I would call him as soon as I knew anything. I don't know, Micheal, do whatever you think is best. I...I just can't think clearly right now."

Not one second after Rain walked out of the room, Micheal picked up the phone and dialed Mark's parent's number. ~I know exactly what you want and I intend to get him here for you~.

Mark grabbed the chain around his neck and began to play with it, giving his fingers something to do as his mind raced a mile a minute with worry over Rain. As he looked out the cab windows, Mark thought back to the call he had received that morning. He was still asleep when his mother came into his room and woke him up, saying that Micheal was on the phone for him and he needed to talk to Mark RIGHT NOW. Knowing the only reason Micheal would have callled him in the first place was if something had happened to Rain, Mark jumped out of the bed and ran to the phone, the first words out of his mouth being 'Is something wrong with Rain?'. Micheal couldn't lie to Mark, but he knew it was Rain's place and not his to tell him about the cancer, so he just told Mark he needed to get back to Nashville NOW and not wait until tomorrow because Rain needed him there. All that did was set off a symphony of bells and whistles in Marks' head and he started asking Micheal a string of questions, all had the same theme...what was wrong with Rain. Micheal relented a bit after that, knowing Mark would give himself a stroke, and told Mark that he and Rain had just left the doctor's office about fifteen minutes ago. 'I take it from how fast you called and little you're telling me, the news isn't good?' he remembered asking. Micheal didn't answer him right away and Mark was about to scream at him in frustration when Micheal said, 'No, it's not good at all'.

Mark quickly hung up the phone after he told Micheal he would do what he could and immediately called the airport to see if there was a flight he could catch. He spent thirty frustrating minutes on the phone with different airlines before he was able to find a flight, and when he hung up the phone, Mark had to hold himself back from invading his parent's liquor cabnet and pouring himself a nice, stiff one. Mark hastily said goodbye to his parents after taking a quick shower, apologizing for his abrupt depature by telling them Rain had asked him to come back to Nashville, which they understood knowing of Rain's recent health problems. Driving away, Mark felt some comfort in knowing he was only hours away from seeing and being with Rain...or so he thought.

When Mark arrived at the airport, he saw with dismay that he would have to wait in a long line at the ticket counter. It took another thirty minutes for Mark to make it to the ticket counter, and his mood was rather foul and his patience basically non-existent when he walked up to the airline employee. That's when the man behind the counter politely told Mark he had no record of his reservation. The man soon realized that was the wrong answer when Mark's face turned bright red and he slammed his fist down on the counter. Looking up at the man who looked like a monster compared to his 5'7" frame, the airline employee swallowed nervously and took a step back...~Why am I always the one who ends up in these situations~?

Mark lit into the man right away, not caring at all how crazy he sounded or what the people around him were thinking, and yelled for the man to check again. The man quickly obliged him and whispered he still had no record of Mark's reservation, he was scared out of his mind and half expected Mark to yank him over the counter and beat the living shit out of him. Instead, Mark had just calmly leaned forward and told the man to find him a flight...he didn't care how, he didn't care what the man had to do, he just told the man he better find a flight FAST. And find a flight he did, but it was two hours later than the one Mark was suppose to have been on in the first place. At least it was something, so Mark paid for his ticket, gave the ticket person one last piece of his mind, and took a seat to wait. Mark had been so relieved to finally be on the plane, he had allowed himself that one drink when the plane was in the air.

The sudden lurch of the car brought Mark back to the present and he saw his house outside the cab. Mark grabbed his bag and paid the driver, not even bothering to wait for the change, and walked into the house. Micheal greeted him in the living room, telling him that Rain was in their room and about Rain's doctor's appointment three days later before heading out the door knowing Mark and Rain needed to be alone. Mark threw his bag down by the couch and gave Sasha, who had trotted down the hallway when he walked through the door, a quick pat on the head and started walking to where Rain was.

Rain rolled over when she felt the bed suddenly move, sitting up just in time to see Sasha's disappearing form. She looked at the clock on her dresser...four o'clock. She had been asleep for close to six hours. Funny how sleep seemed to always be the body's best defense in trying times. Settling back down on the bed, Rain wrapped her arm around Ginger who was still beside her, comtemplating getting up but not really wanting to. That's when she heard the front door open and close and footsteps moving down the hall. Rain sat back up and focused her attention towards the door to her bedroom just in time to see Mark standing there.

Rain did a double take, wondering if everything that had happened that day was causing her mind to play tricks on her. ~Okay it's official, I'm finally losing my mind. Mark's in Texas and he won't be back until tomorrow morning. I'm just seeing what I want to see~.

"Well, are you going to say something or are you just gonna sit there and stare?" Mark joked.

~Okay, so maybe I haven't lost my mind~. "I thought I was seeing things to be honest with you." Rain answered as Mark walked towards her. ~Mental note, thank Micheal for being the wonderful friend he is and calling Mark~. Her arms immediately wrapped around Mark's neck when he sat down beside her, just happy he was there.

Mark held her for a while, saying nothing as he rocked her back and forth, trying to find a way to ask Rain what had happened earlier without being blunt about the whole thing or upsetting her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mark asked when his curiosity finally got the best of him. Rain shook her head in response, tightening her hold around Mark's neck. "Careful there, you're close to choking me."

"Sorry." she whispered, though her hold didn't lessen. "I'm just happy you came home today."

"Whatever's wrong Rain, I'll be here for you."

"I know." Rain said. ~How in the world am I gonna be able to tell him this~? "Could you stay here with me while I lie down for another hour? It's the last thing I need, but I just want one more hour. Then I'll tell you what the doctor said."

"Alright. Have you talked to your parents yet?"

"After I tell you. This isn't the kind of thing you want to tell someone over the phone, they at least deserve a face to face conversation." Rain answered.

"You want me to go with you?"

"Yeah. I'm really gonna need you there with me."

Mark kissed the top of her head and stretched out on the bed, bringing Rain with him. After giving her a few light kisses on the neck, Mark slowly ran his fingers through Rain's hair, knowing how much that calmed and relaxed her. It didn't take that long for her to fall back asleep with the first real smile she had shown that day on her face. By the time he dozed off himself, Sasha, Ginger, and Gus had joined them for a nap of their own.

"Mom, please stop walking back and forth like that. You're gonna give me motion sickness if you keep this up." Rain said as she watched her mother from her hospital bed. She was probably about ten minutes from being wheeled upstairs to be preped for surgery.

"Sorry honey, you know how I get when I'm nervous and scared. I have to keep moving and keep busy so my mind won't have an opportunity to wander." Cynthia apologized, taking Rain's hand after sitting down beside her. She didn't want to voice her one worry to Rain...that she would have as much trouble with this surgery as she did with the one following her accident.

"Just take a few, deep breaths and try to relax. You need to save all your energy for when you're stuck with me and my children in your house after the surgery." Rain laughed. "Are you sure about that? We're not going to be a bother to you, are we?"

"Bite your tongue, it's never a bother for a parent to take care of her child, especially after she would have gone through such a serious surgery as you are. Besides, I'll feel better if you're in my sight where I can see for myself how you're doing instead of depending on Mark for progress reports."

"Well you know I'm not going to be able to do that much considering I'll be ordered to a bed for a week or so and Sasha and Ginger are going to be a handful themselves. At least you won't have to bother that much with Gus, but Mark will be coming in and out at all times of the day and night. I mean, he'll be off for the next week, but he'll have to go back after that since I'm not working." Rain closed her eyes and sighed. "I just don't want to be a burden."

"Look at me." her mother ordered. Rain turned her head towards her mother. "You are not nor will you ever be a burden to us. I'm doing this because I want to like any mother would, so stop worrying about it. There are other things you should be focusing on instead of this, like getting better after the surgery and preparing yourself for chemotherapy. As far as the dogs go, your father is just ecstatic about that because he knows it's the only way I'll allow any animal in my house. He'll keep them busy for us when he comes home after work."

Rain laughed when she saw the sheepish grin on her father's face. "You know mom, Ginger and Sasha are wonderful dogs and Gus is a great cat. They just might grow on you and you'll find yourself down at the shelter adopting one yourself."

"Of course you know I'll do anything in my power to keep that from happening because your father has been using that argument for years. 'I know if you just gave it a chance you would see how much fun having a dog or cat would be.' he says,'but youre too stubborn to even try because you know I'm right'."

"That's why I'm counting on Sasha, Ginger, and Gus to be on their best behavior, so she doesn't have a chance to say 'Look, they tore up my dolls' or 'Look they scratched my furniture'." he father replied. "Then she'll have no choice but to give up this argument and come with me to get an animal."

"You're jsut like Mark, mom. He never thought he'd ever like cats because he had always had dogs around him when he was growing up, but now, who's he always carrying around, who's always in his lap when he's sitting in a chair, who's always lying on his chest when he's asleep on the couch...Gus." Rain remarked. "And the one time Gus was sick, Mark rushed him to the vet office in a big huff and all worried about him. You haven't seen everything until you've seen a man who's almost seven feet tall babying a ten pound cat. I bet you'll fall just like he did."

"We'll just see about that." Cynthia said. "Speaking of Mark, how's he doing? He didn't say anything to us when we saw him in the hall and he didn't spend that much time with you before we came in. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, Mark just gets very quiet sometimes when something upsets him and tends to keep his emotions to himself instead of laying them out for everyone to see." Rain answered. "And the reason he didn't spend that much time with me is because he wanted to make sure you and dad had enough time to sit and talk with me before I went to surgery."

"I just wanted to make sure because he usually offers a hello or a smile when he sees us and today he did nothing, almost like he didn't see us. I was hoping you two weren't having any problems."

"Everything's alright, mom. Sometimes Mark disappears into his own little world. He's just very worried about me and the surgery like you are...and he's scared." Rain answered. "In less than two months we've gone from a newly engaged couple who only had to worry about an upcoming wedding to finding out I have cancer to me having to undergo a serious surgery. It would be a lot for any person to take."

"But still, he needs to talk to someone about this. He shouldn't 'disappear' into his own little world and leave you with nobody to turn to. Many problems stem from not doing one fundamental thing, and that's talking to each other. I won't have him putting anymore stress on you."

"Wait a minute, mom. Don't go making him into a bad guy just yet because he isn't as open as you and some people are when a person they love is sick. It's his way of dealing with it. He'll be here for me and we'll help each other through this." Rain said. "I'm just relieved Micheal is here for him today so he isn't sitting off in some corner by himself."

Cynthia shook her head and laughed. "Micheal's on edge himself. I don't know how much they can help each other right now."

Rain opened her mouth to say something but the door opened at that moment and the nurses walked in, signaling it was time for her to go upstairs. Rain's parents gave her a kiss on the cheek and a few 'I love yous' as the nursees wheeled her out of the room. Just as they were turning the bed up the hallway, Rain caught a glimpse of Mark and Micheal standing against the wall. Mark gave her a small smile and mouthed 'Love you' as she passed them. Rain returned his smile and closed her eyes after she could no longer see him.

"This is ridiculous. It's been close to five and half hours and nobody had come out here yet. You'd think they would at least come and tell us something, anything so we know what's going on, even if it's bad." Rain's mother ranted as she paced back and forth in the waiting room, wringing her hands the entire time. ~So that's where Rain gets that habit from~ Mark thought as he watched her. "Something must have happened, that's the only reason I can think of as to why it's taking this long. It shoudn't have taken this long."

"Cynthia, you don't know that for sure." Rain's father tried to reason.

"Yes I do!" she yelled. "I was this same position twenty years ago with her mother and it didn't take this long."

"That was her mother. Rain's situation maybe different and it may take them longer to do her surgery." he stood up amd pulled his wife back towards the chair to sit down. "I know how upset you are but you need to sit here and try to calm down down. They'll come out and tell us what's happening as soon as they can."

"Okay." Cynthia remented as she leaned her head against her husband's shoulder.

One hour later, the doctor finally walked into the room to tell them about Rain's condition.

Sitting on the table in front of them, the doctor gave Rain's parents his full attention. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come out here and talk to you, but we ran into some problems with your daughter's surgery."

"What kind of problems?" Cynthia asked in a shaky voice.

"We had just started the surgery when her heart went into what we call ventricular tachycardia where her heart rate climbed to a very high rate. It took us a while to get her heart rate down close to normal, we couldn't get it back to normal, but she seemed to be doing okay, so we went ahead with the surgery. Unfortunately, her heart rate went back up again when we were halfway through the surgery and stopped this time." the doctor stopped when Rain's mother started to cry and he placed his hand over hers. "We were able to get get her heart started again and it gave us no more problems for the rest of the surgery. She did give us a scare after the surgery was over and we wheeled her back to her room. Her heart sped up on us again but this time it slowed down, almost like it was going to stop, but it never actually stopped. Her breathing also became labored and shallow so we placed her on oxygen to help with that. Before I came out here to talk with you, I wanted to make sure she wasn't going to turn on us again, and she was doing fine when I last looked at her, her heart rate had even normalized. I'm thinking she might have had a reaction to the anesthesia or maybe she sustained some injuries to her heart with her previous accident and we are just now seeing it because of the surgery. This might explain why she had so much trouble with her first sugery on top of the actual trauma from the accident. We're going to monitor her heart very closely while she's here recovering for the next few days and I might even examine her heart with an ECG or an echo of her heart to make sure her heart is okay. Right now, I'm hoping it was just the stress of the surgery and a reaction to the anesthesia."

"What about the actual surgery?" Rain's father asked. "What did you do? What were you able to find out?"

"From what I saw during the surgery, I would say her cancer is pretty advanced and I'm surprised her symptoms actually weren't worse and they hadn't been bothering her for longer than they had. But that's one of the main problems with ovarian cancer, the cancer can already be pretty far along before the woman begins to think that something is wrong and actually seeks out a doctor for her problems." the doctor began. "Both of Rain's ovaries, ovarian tubes, and her uterus were extensively damaged by the cancer so we had to remove them, something we try to avoid if we can when the woman is still of child-bearing age as Rain is, but we had no other choice in her case. We also found evidence the cancer had spread past her reproductive organs to her bladder and we removed as much of that as we could. I'll have to wait for the results to see if any of the cancer is in the fluid surrounding the abdominal organs and to see if any of the biopsies we took contain any cancer cells. If they do, we might have to perform a second surgery, something I'm wary of doing after how she did with this one, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

"Was she aware of the fact she might lose the ability to have children?" her father asked.

"She was aware of that possibility and told me if it came down to her health or her ability to have children, she wanted me to do whatever I could to improve her chances of survival." he answered.

"How long before she begins chemotherapy?" Cynthia asked.

"About two weeks. We wait so that the incision from the surgery had enough time to heal." the doctor answered.

"How long before we can see her?" her mother asked.

"Another thirty minutes. I'm going to check on her one last time and then I'll have someone come and get you. She might be awake by then, but I only want you to stay for a few minutes so she can get some rest."

Rain's mother nodded her head. "Okay, and thank you for helping her and talking to us."

"That's what I'm here for. Someone will be here to take you to her in a little while." The doctor said goodbye and walked out of the room.

Everybody let out a collective sigh of relief when the doctor was out of their sight, at least she had made it through the surgery and as small a victory as it may have seemed, it was still important to everyone in that room. They had only been waiting for about fifteen minutes when Mark suddenly stood up and walked out of the room without so much as one word to Rain's parents or to Micheal. Rain's parents gave Micheal a questioning look and the only thing he could offer them was a shrug in repsonse. "Probably needed to step outside for some air." Micheal suggested.

Mark sat down on one of the benches outside the hospital and watched as people walked into and out of the hospital, all wrapped up in their own worry over a loved one or friend who had the misfortune of ending up in a hospital. It didn't take long for the doctor's earlier conversation to start replaying itself in Mark's mind, reminding him just how sick Rain was. It was probably wishful thinking on his part, actually it was probably very stupid of him to think so, but Mark was hoping they wouldn't fing anything too bad and if they did, the surgery would take care of everything and she would only have to deal with the standard six course chemotherapy treatment. After hearing what the doctor said and after doing a little research of his own, Mark knew Rain was in for quite a fight that was going to take a lot out of her...and even after that, there was no guarantees she would survive. The one thing that stuck out in Mark's head and bothered, or more correctly saddened, him was the one thing he never imagined would or at least he never thought he'd face...Rain's surgery meant he would have children of his own. Having children was something he and Rain had never discussed before, probably because they never figured the choice would be taken away from them. Mark had to admit he had wanted children, especially after he had found Rain because he knew she would have made a great mother. He had always enjoyed playing and looking after his friend's kids and many of his friends said he would be a natural father because kids loved him. ~Oh well, no use in getting all upset and down in the dumps over something I can't change. I need to focus on what's important right now and that's Rain~.

"Mind if I join you?" Mark looked up and saw Cynthia standing in front of him. Nodding his head, Mark moved over so she could sit down beside him.

"Overwhelming, isn't it?" Cynthia finally said to break the silence between them.

"What is?" Mark asked.

"Everything that has happened today and will happen in the coming months to Rain." Cynthia answered. "Not only is it going to be overwhelming for her but it will also be for you since you two live together and are so close. She's gonna turn to you for support when she's hurting, when she's had enough of being sick, when she wants to give up. It can be hard when someone is always looking for you to be the strong one."

"I don't want to let her down." Mark said as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and placing his head in his hands. "I'm just worried I'll end up letting her down."

"I felt the same way when I was helping Rain's mother. I can't even tell you how many time I wanted to throw up my hands in the air and give up, but I didn't because I had a ten year old kid counting on me to help her after her mother passed away and I couldn't give up on a friend like that." Cynthia stopped and looked at Mark for a second. "Would you ever leave my daughter because of her illness?"

Mark's head immediately popped up and he gave Rain's mother a very angry look. "What the hell kind of a question is that?!" he asked defensively. "Do you expect me to leave her because she has cancer? If that's what you're thinking, let me set things straight right now. I'm NOT that shallow, I'm NOT that heartless, and there happens to be this little thing I thought I had proved to you when I asked for your daughter's hand in marriage...the fact that I LOVE her. That hasn't changed nor will it ever change so don't sit there an even insinuate I would be so cold as to leave her because of cancer!"

Cynthia actually moved a few inches away from Mark after his outburst. She had never seen him so angry before and it both scared and pleased her at the same time. "I didn't mean to upset you or imply you would ever leave her. I had to ask because I don't want my daughter to be hurt unnecessarily right now with everything else that is going on...and I also saw your expression when the doctor said in so many words that she would never have children. You were hoping to have children with her, weren't you?" Mark stared at her, unsure of what to say and not comfortable at all in discussing the subject with Rain's mother. Shrugging his shoulders, Mark turned his attention back to the various people entering and leaving the building. "Doens't matter now if I wanted children or not."

"Of course it matter bec-"

"Look, with all due respect, I don't feel like discussing this subject with you. It's very personal and private and if I wanted to talk about it, I'd rather talk to Rain."

"Sorry. I have a bad habit of sticking my noise in other people's business and not knowing when to back off." Cynthia chuckled. "I get worse when my daughter's involved."

"Have you seen her already?"

"I just left her room before I came down here."

"How is she?"

"Tired and still a little groggy, but otherwise she's fine." Cynthia answered. "Actually that's the reason I came down here. She wants to see you."

"Maybe I should wait until tomorrow so she can get her rest like the doctor wanted. She's probablt tired after visiting with you and your husband." Mark hesistated. "Then again, she'd kick my ass and never let me forget about it if I didn't go up there after she asked for me. I guess a few minutes wouldn't hurt."

"That's a better answer." Cynthia said and stood up, holding her hand out for Mark. "Let's not keep her waiting."

Rain focused her attention on the window beside her bed, taking notice of the few clouds and wondering if it was suppose to rain that day. It had been about five minutes since her parents had left the room and she had asked them to get Mark for her. She hadn't spent that much time talking to her parents, probably because they wanted to make sure they didn't wear her out too much, but they were there long enough for Rain to find out her heart had been causing problems. After hearing that, Rain had said a silent prayer, thanking whoever had helped her through the surgery, and she hoped nothing was wrong with her heart because fighting cancer and having heart trouble would be too much even for her to take.

Closing her eyes, Rain listened to the constant beeping of the heart monitor as she waited for Mark to come visit her. She had almost fallen back to sleep when that feeling of someone esle being in the room suddenly came over her, causing her to open her eyes and look towards the door of the room, and that's where she saw Mark with a stuffed tiger holding a vase full of flowers in his hands. Of course all that did was to make her day and bring a smile to Rain's face. Mark walked over to her and placed the flowers on a table next to the bed.

"Sorry it took me so long. I wasn't sure if I should have waited until tomorrow because the doctor said he wanted you to rest." Mark apologized as he took Rain's hand in his.

"I was beginning to think you weren't coming." Rain said in a small voice. "That or something had happened to that precious cat of yours and you had gone to be with him."

"Oh come on, Rain. You already know if it came down to you or the cat, I would choose the cat." Mark said with a smirk.

"Why you little brat!" Rain laughed as she playfully slapped his arm. "You know, I have half a mind to let Micheal keep Gus while I'm staying at my parent's house. I think he likes that cat as much as you do and that would teach you not to say you would choose Gus over me."

"You wouldn't do that."

"Wouldn't I though." Rain said as she closed her eyes, enjoying how she was making him squirm.

"You wouldn't go through wit hit because you'd miss him too much." Mark countered. He waited for Rain to through out one of her trademark sarcastic remarks, but she continued to lie there with her eyes closed. "Are you ready for me to leave?"

"I don't want you to leave but it is getting harder and harder for me to keep my eyes open." Rain admitted with a smile.

"I've probably had you talking more than I should have, but I couldn't help it. Your voice is like music to my ears after hearing everything you went through today." Mark said. "Guess I should let you get your beauty sleep now...looking like you could use by the way."

"Mark, your bedside manner leaves much to be desired. What happened to saying things like 'you're very beautiful at this moment' or 'I love you'?"

"Well you are and I do but I just wanted to put a smile on your face. You can let me have it in the morning, but right now..." Mark placed his fingers over Rain's mouth. "Don't talk anymore. Go to sleep." Rain nodded her head and smiled as Mark kissed her forehead and leaned his head on her shoulder causing Rain to lean her head against his. Her last thought before giving in to sleep was how wonderful Mark's cologne smelled to her.

"What are you doing out here?" Mark's voice boomed behind her causing Rain to basically jump out of her skin and drop the book she was reading. Rain had been at her parent's house for a little over a week and at that moment she was relaxing in a lounge chair on her parent's porch with Gus in her lap.

"I'm sitting her reading a book and enjoying the weather." Rain answered as she carefully retrieved her book. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"You shouldn't be out here. It's too soon after the surgery for you to be out of bed."

"Says who? I feel fine and it's not like I'm stressing myself here."

"You should be inside in bed and that's exactly where I'm going to take you." Mark said as he proceeded to pick Rain up and carry her into the house. She answered this move by repeatedly slapping his hands until Mark gave up trying to get near her. "Stop hitting me so I can get you inside."

"In case you haven't noticed, I don't want to go inside." Rain scolded him. "I was perfectly happy out here reading my book...that was until you came out here and started bugging the crap out of me. So why don't you do us both a favor and leave me alone...mother."

"Cute. I would leave you alone if you would just go inside." Mark threw back at her. "Just go inside please? You can still enjoy the weather if you leave the sliding door open and can be just as comfortable reading your book on the couch."

"Oh alright!" Rain yelled. She slowly stood and grabbed her blanket, book, and drink all in one big angry move. Mark started to take the drink and blanket away from her so she wouldn't have too much in her arms, but Rain moved out of his reach amd gave him a look that said' touch me and you'll be walking funny for the next week'.

"I think you've helped me enough for one day and I'll tell you one more thing. I maybe doing what you want right now but don't let it fool you into thinking I'll always do what you say. If it's this nice tomorrow, I'm going to march my little butt back out here and enjoy it and I'll do the same the next day and the day after that regardless of what you say. You and my mother are not, and I repeat NOT, going to keep me cooped up in a bed for the next week if I don't want to do it." With that, Rain walked into the house without so much as a glance in Mark's direction.

Slumping his shoulders, Mark went into the house after her. ~Guess I'll be getting aquanted with the couch tonight. Why does she have to be so damned stubborn~?

"Are you still not talking to me?" Mark asked later on that night. Rain continued to read her book and pet Ginger, not even bothering to acknowledge his presence. "Well I take it the answer is still yes. Why do women always resort to the silent treatment?" Mark threw down the Monopoly game he was carrying and sat down on the end of the bed.

~Because we know how much it pisses you guys off~ Rain thought. "What's that for?" Rain asked as she pointed to the game.

"Well what do you know, she can speak after all. Hell must have just frozen over at this moment." Mark sarcastically said.

"A\\$$hole." Rain muttered under her breath.

"You don't know the half of it yet."

"Oh but I do and you're being a major one right now." Rain said as she flipped a page.

"That makes two complete sentences in less than one minute. I feel honored now considering it's the first thing you've said to me since this morning." Mark replied as he played with Ginger. "You better watch it, you're becoming sociable with me."

"Don't count on it buster."

"And one more makes three. I'm on a roll now." Mark smirked.

Rain reached her limit and showed Mark by throwing her book at him. "Would you stop doing that!"

"Temper, temper, temper missy. That is sooo unbecoming a lady." This caused Rain to through another book off the nightstand at him. "I'm rather enjoying this little temper tantrum. You know all it's doing is egging me on to bug you even more. But I'll stop annoying you if you accept my apology, even though I was only being an a\\$$hole out of concern for you."

Rain sat back and folded her arms across her chest like a two year old. She hated how easily it was for Mark to get under her skin. "So do you want to play?" Rain asked as she opened the box, ignoring Mark's last statement.

"Are you going to accept my apology?"

"Are you going to play?"

"Alright, I give up. I guess I'll just let you win a game as an apology because we both know it's the only way you'll ever beat me at this game." Mark said as he helped her.

"You wish. If anything I've allowed you to win a game or two." Rain remarked. "And I'll accept your apology if you join me for lunch tomorrow outside and you cook."

Mark looked at her and shook his head...she always found a way to get what she wanted in the end. "I suppose I can do that if it will make you happy, BABY."

"Why thank you, HONEY." Rain said. Both knew how much using pet names like those irritated the other. "I have a feeling you and I are going to go round and round on this and I know you're only being the dutiful fiance, but you're gonna have to back off every now and then. I'm not going to lie in a bed and wait to die, singing poor, poor pitiful me, crying myself to sleep, and feeling sorry for myself. I've cried enough over this and I'm done asking myself why. None of that is going to change anything. I'm going to do everything I can and not wonder what I'm missing or use this as an excuse not to do anything, and you're not gonna change my mind."

"I don't want to change your mind or keep you locked up in the house chained to a bed...well, the chained to a bed part isn't a bad idea-" Mark stopped when Rain punched his chest, telling him to behave. "Kidding. I only want you to be careful and not overdo it."

"I will." Rain said as she picked out the race car piece. "I can only imagine the fight we're gonna have when Sam's wedding comes around, which I still plan on attending."

"What do you mean you're planning on still going. That will be only a few weeks after you finish chemo-." Rain's hand over his mouth stopped any further words from escaping when that angry look of his crept into his eyes.

"Let's save this argument for another day. Right now..." Rain leaned over and kissed Mark on the lips. "I feel like teaching you a lesson and kicking your a\\$$ in a game of Monopoly."

Mark's smile stretched from ear to ear as he handed Rain the pair of dice. "You're on darlin'."

"So how's she doing after this dose of chemo?" Micheal asked.

"Still the same I guess." Mark answered. "To tell the truth, I can't even tell the difference anymore. I don't know if it's even helping her anymore."

Micheal and Mark were sitting in the kitchen of Mark and Rain's house sharing a mid-afternoon lunch of Papa John's pizza and discussing a subject that always put Mark on edge...Rain's illness. It had been a rough five months for both Rain and Mark and they were both at their wits end with the other and neither knew how much more they could take of the other. Rain had just finished her fifth out of six courses of chemotherapy a few days ago and was now down the hall trying to recover from it. She had already awaken two times that day to do her customary slow walk to the bathroom to throw up, and now she was having trouble going back to sleep, only being able to sleep for thirty minutes then waking up and going back to sleep for thirty minutes to start the cycle all over again. Mark would check on her every hour or so, bringing her something to drink hoping it would help but it almost never did. To say Mark hated what the chemo was doing to her would classify as the biggest understatement of the year.

Rain's first round of chemotherapy had been a scary experience for Rain and Mark. Because it was her first time receiving chemo, she had to be admitted to the hospital so the doctors watch her overnight to make sure she didn't have a reaction to the drugs they were giving her, something Rain was not happy about because she now absolutely hated hospitals. Rain had done alright at the hospital but it was a different story when she came home, she had never felt that sick or tired before in her life, barely having the energy to get out of bed but she had to find the energy somewhere to make it to the bathroom several times a day where she proceeded to lose what little she had in her stomach. There were several times after that first treatment she spent crying herself to sleep (even though she said she wouldn't) in Mark's arms, wondering if the next day was going to be as bad as this one and if she would have the energy to make it through the next day. Eventually by the forth treatment she didn't get as sick and the medicine her doctor gave her was a big help, and though she was still tired on certain days, she felt good enough to walk Sasha (Ginger had died soon after Rain's third treatment) and spend time with Micheal and her parents.

"You think she'll have to do another course of chemotherapy with a different drug?" Micheal asked.

"That's what the doctor is thinking if her lab work shows she isn't responding to her present treatment." Mark answered and let out a long breath. "They may even have to do a second surgery on her."

"That doesn't sound good at all and I don't know of you two could make it through another surgery or another round of chemo." Micheal replied. "You two still getting at each other's throats?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Rain's been talking to me a lot here lately, telling me you two aren't exactly on the best of terms and you're arguing with one another almost every day."

"Oh she did? She told you we fight every day?" Mark asked. "You know you're part of the reason we've been arguing so much."

"Mark, don't go down that road again. I already told you I would do anything Rain asked of me and that includes getting her out of this house, and you know if I thought it would hurt her in any way, I would keep her here myself." Micheal growled. "Your little way of always thinking your way is right and throwing around snide remarks is probably why she's talking to me instead of you. You more than likely barely give her a chance to tell you why she's doing what she's doing before you light into her."

Mark gave Micheal an evil glare which Micheal gave right back until Mark looked down at his pizza. "This is turning out to be harder than I thought it would be. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but this...I wasn't expecting it to be like this. She's had enough of being sick, I've had enough of seeing her sick and that's caused her temper to become very short and that attitude of hers to really kick in, so anything and everything makes her mad and she takes it out on me. When she starts yelling, that of course makes something click inside my head and I start yelling back at her. And I'll admit, most of the time we end up fighting over stupid stuff like the temperature of the room, how loud the TV is, how loud the stereo is, her insistence on walking Sasha every morning. But sometimes she does stuff that makes me angry and scares me."

"Guess that one's directed at me and my taking her to the shop with me to answer the phones and take in customers, huh?" Micheal asked after he finished his last piece of pizza.

"I remember repeatedly calling her that day from work and nobody answering the phone. I figured she was in the shower or maybe she was outside, so I kept calling and when she didn't answer, I called you, worried out of my mind, hoping you knew where she was...and then she answered the phone." Mark grabbed the pizza box, threw it away, and sat back down. "I was kinda stunned at first and then I got very angry and started yelling 'What the f\\$ck are you doing there'. She ever so calmly answered 'I'm working', and that really made me mad. We started yelling back and forth and she eventually hung up on me. I was standing right at the door that night, waiting for her to come home, and I could tell the second she walked into the house that she had taken a lot out of herself by helping you because the look on her face told me she was still mad at me but she let me carry her to be because she was too tired to do it herself. At least Rain admitted she shouldn't have worked all day."

"I bet you would be singing a different tune if Rain refused to leave the house or get out of bed. You would be yelling at her to get out and do something, that she shouldn't be wasting away in her bedroom." Micheal said as he looked at Mark. "Am I wrong?" Mark muttered something under his breath. "What was that Mark?"

"No you're not wrong. I guess that's what I'd end up doing." Mark mumbled.

"That's exactly what you'd do." Micheal said. "Maybe you two need a break from each other."

"A break as in a few nights away from each other or a break as in something longer to see if we should go out seperate ways?"

"I don't know, but after talking to the both of you, I'm leaning more towards the latter."

"Well that isn't going to happen. I would consider a few nights away from Rain, but leaving each other is not an option and I don't want you to mention it again." Mark seethed.

"Okay, maybe she could stay with her parents for a few days." Micheal suggested.,p> "Oh her mother would just love that. It would give her more ammunition to through in my face of how bad a person I am and all my imperfections." Mark sarcastically said. Seeing Micheal's raised eyebrow, Mark explained himself. "Rain's mother and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment. I guess Rain has been talking to her about some of the problems we've been having and her mother wasn't too happy about that so she called me and told me I didn't need to upset Rain or cause her undue stress and I should be more compassionate to her situation and learn how to treat a woman like any decent gentleman would. Well I threw back at her that is she was going to call me an a\\$$hole, she should just do it instead of beating around the bush about it and I was sick and tired of her always telling me what I should be doing and she needed to stay out of my life. Needless to say, she told me as long as I was involved with Rain she would insert herself in the middle of my life any time she wanted and I needed to get over that. I answered that statement by hanging up on her and we haven't said a word to each other since. So if Rain stayed with them, her mother probably wouldn't let me see her again."

"Man you're just pissing off everybody you can, Mark." Micheal said, shaking his head.

"Guess so." Mark replied, shrugging his shoulders. "I'd rather she stay with you if she went anywhere."

"That's on option if she wants to take it." Micheal noticed how Mark suddenly looked over his shoulder to the hallway and when he turned around, Micheal saw Rain walking towards them.

Mark moved his chair away from the table and held out his hand to Rain. "Still can't sleep?" Rain shook her head, took his hand, and sat down on his lap. She was wearing her robe and a black headwrap...her hair had fallen out after her second treatment. "I'm tired as hell but can't go to sleep, go figure, so I gave up and figured I'd come in here with you guys. So what are two talking about?"

"You, what else would we be talking about?" Mark asked.

"Are you trying to talk some sense into this guy? Are you telling him it's alright for me to leave the house every now and then for something else besides going to the hospital?" Rain asked Micheal.

"I'm trying but it's hard considering he had no sense to begin with." Micheal answered and he and Rain laughed at the statement.

"You're just a regular comedian, Micheal." Mark grumbled. He raised his right hand to Rain's neck and began to massage it. Rain leaned her head onto Mark's shoulder and closed her eyes...she always loved his massages. "Micheal thinks we should take a break from each other for a few nights and maybe we wouldn't fight as much after that."

"He does, or is this your idea because you want to get rid of me and dump me into his lap so you can go out and party and have your fun?"

"See how she’s always picking a fight with me?" Mark asked, looking at Micheal.

"It's one of her many gifts along with making you mad and pissing you off." Micheal smiled. "And no, he's not trying to get rid of you. I suggested it because you both told me you've been fighting excessively lately and you both told me it's beginning to put a strain on your relationship. You need to give each other some space for a weekend or maybe just a week. Just think, if you're already getting on each other's nerves now, imagine what it will be like if you have to make it through another round of chemo or another surgery. If you keep going at each other like this, you won't survive the stress of anything else and still be together."

Rain slowly raised her head and Mark stopped his massage. Something about that last statement really rubbed Rain the wrong way and she was beginning to see red. "I really take exception to that last remark of yours. The way you're talking, Mark and I shouldn't even be trying anymore, like it's a waste of our time to even stay together. What has happened to suddenly make you an expert on our relationship?"

Micheal was at a total loss as to what he should he say. He hadn't counted on Rain reacting like she was to what he was saying. "I, uh...I didn't, I...I'm not putting your relationship down and I, I'm certainly not telling you to give up on each other. I was just...you, you gave me the impression that, well, aren't you tired of fighting with Mark?"

"So we fight, so we yell at each other, it's how we vent off steam. Maybe we shouldn't do it, but it happens. We always apologize at the end of the night.." Rain said as she rolled her eyes.

"You shouldn't have to put up with it, either of you."

"Why? Because you have some picture in your head of me resting quietly in a bed with Mark at my side talking to me about little things that are happening or of us sitting on the couch watching TV and calmly passing the evening away and fighting being the last thing on our minds?" Rain asked. "Well that isn't how it happpens. In the real world, you yell and scream at each other, you get angry at times because it's hard being in the middle of something like this. You have no idea what it's like to be in a relationship where one person is trying to fight and survive cancer, you don't know how you would be acting if you were in our places, so don't sit there and tell me what our relationship will and won't survive. We'll make it in spite of what you might think because we love each other, and that's a word neither of us takes lightly."

Micheal looked at Mark for help but found none because Mark wasn't too happy with him at that moment either. Instead he gave him a look that said 'You dug your own grave by sticking you foot in your mouth and I ain't gonna help you out of it'. Micheal looked from Mark to Rain and realized just how mad he had made them and that he needed to stop before he let something slip that would really get him in trouble.

"I can tell from the expressions on both your faces that I've gone too far with this and I'm about two seconds from being thrown out of the house, so I better stop right now and apologize to you both for over stepping my bounds. I didn't mean to upset either of you and I certainly didn't mean to disparage or take anything away from your relationship. I was under the impression you were sick of fighting with each other and that's why you were telling me everything that was wrong, but I guess I was mistaken. You two are my best friends, I really care about you, and I would never intentionally do anything to jeopardize that. I just wanted to help and that's why I opened my big mouth on the first place."

"Well saying we won't make it through anything else is not my idea of helping us." Rain remarked.

"I know and once again I'm sorry." Micheal said. Rain kept her eyes on Micheal for a brief moment before she closed her eyes and leaned her head back on Mark's shoulder so he could begin his massage again. She knew Micheal's apology was sincere and to be honest, she never could stay mad at Micheal for that long just like she never could with Mark. Something inside her would always give her a swift kick in the butt and tell her to just get over it.

A few uneasy and tense minutes passed without a word being said as Mark focused his attention on relaxing Rain and trying to make her feel more comfortable.

"I have to say I do agree with the only intelligent thing you said in the last five minutes. I think we could use some time away from each other." Rain said, not even bothering to open her eyes. Mark's magic was beginning to work again and she could feel herself going limp like a ragdoll. "Maybe our biggest problem is we're always around each other and never take any time for ourselves."

"Now it's my turn to ask if you're trying to get rid of me." Mark asked. "No, you're a big pain in the rear end sometimes but I guess you're worth keeping." Rain answered. "I was just thinking, I haven't seen you go out with any of your friends or go for a ride on your bike since I've been sick. I know how much you love to just hop on that bike and take off to wherever for a couple of hours. Just because I'm sick doesn't mean you have to give up everything you used to do before."

"You were too sick and I wasn't comfortable at all with the idea of leaving you here alone just so I could go out and get my kicks. It was more important to be with you at the time."

"I can understand that, especially in the beginning because I was having a hard time with everything, but now I could stay with Micheal or my parents and you could go out and do what you wanted. You deserve some time for yourself because of all the time and help you've given me."

"Well, okay. If you agree with it then it's fine with me." Mark said.

"You don't sound very enthusiastic."

"I don't know why, especially after I just yelled at Micheal for suggesting it, but for some strange reason I'm scared you'll find you're happier without me and one weekend will stretch into more." Mark confessed.

Rain started shaking her head. "This is only for one weekend so we can have some space to ourselves and relieve some stress. Anyways, as mushy and disgusting as this sounds, I couldn't stand to be away from you for too long so get that thought out of your head, okay?" Smiling, Mark nodded his head. "Okay."

Rain looked at Micheal. "It's probably the last thing you want after I just lit into you but you think you can stand having a rude friend and her dog in your house for a weekend if she promises to be nice?"

"I think I can stand it." Micheal chuckled.

"Here ya go...one salad, one bowl of fruit, and one glass of white grape juice." Micheal said as he placed the bowl and drink on the table bedside the couch and handed Rain the salad.

"Thank you very much." she replied with a smile.

"You know, I've never seen you eat this healthy in all the time I've known you. It seems like every time I see you, you're eating fruit or you're drinking fruit juice or water." Micheal commented. "Are you trying to become a vegetarian or something?"

"Oh I still have a hamburger or a steak once in a while you just never see it." Rain answered. "My doctor said it would be better for my body and for my health and would help with the nausea I was having if I limited what I ate and included more fruit and vegetables."

"I'm surprised they don't have you eating more so you can keep your weight up." Micheal said. "I wouldn't think that only eating that you have right now would be good for you."

"I've lost some weight but not too much and that's mostly due to the fact that I can't eat a lot of what I did before because my stomach just can't handle it anymore." Rain said as she took a bite of her salad. "Now, let's change the subject to something a little more interesting than what I'm eating. What do you feel like watching, action or comedy?"

"I don't know about you but I'm in the mood for something funny. I don't quite feel like watching some intense, heart-wrenching movie." Micheal moved next to the TV where he kept his movies and started calling out titles to see what she wanted to watch.

"Any of those sound good. Just pick one." Rain replied.

Micheal turned back to the movies to make a choice and Rain turned her attention back to the clock on the wall for the umpteenth time that day, and it was only two o'clock in the afternoon. Why was she so clock hungry and anxious for the day to fly by? Because the faster it went, the sooner she would be able to see Mark, and though she wasn't surprised she missed him, Rain was surprised by just how much she missed Mark. It was one week after Micheal had come up with the idea for them to take a weekend off from each other, and at the beginning, Rain was looking forward to spending some time with Micheal because it had been some time since it was only the two of them. That Friday had been absolute fun and reminded her of old times and the days before Mark entered her life. They had enjoyed an early dinner, played cards, watched a few shows, played a couple games of pool, and of course had one of their long, late night talks. She had forgotten how easy it was to talk to Micheal and how often they used to talk to each other about everything that was going on in their lives. It wasn't like they had completely stopped turning to each other, but when you always have someone to come home to, someone who is always there when you've had a bad day or there when you have exciting news as Mark was, and you also throw in the closeness that only comes from giving your heart to another, you tend to share more with them and less with the other person even if that relationship is still very strong. But as they sat talking mostly about what was going with Micheal (and when he was going to get his butt in gear and find a woman to be with), Rain made a note to herself to talk more often with Micheal, knowing there was no excuse for the decline in time they spent together without Mark around.

On Saturday, Micheal had treated Rain to a nice dinner at a restaurant which also featured a large dance floor for ballroom dancing. Micheal was the only person she could ever get to go dancing at a formal place with her because he knew how much she enjoyed dancing, especially when it came to the waltz. Mark told her she would never get him to dance (particularly any ballroom dancing) because that was something he just didn't do and no amount of pleading would change that...she couldn't even get him to sway back and forth in their living room.

Since it had been so long since she had the opportunity to enjoy a night on the town, Rain had dressed up for the occasion, wearing the same dress she had worn the night Mark had proposed, a little bit of make-up, and the wig she had made right before she began chemo. For the first time in five months she felt like an actual woman, even better, she felt like a beautiful woman and Micheal's constant compliments just made it all the better. She and Micheal had spent the majority of their time there dancing, with many breaks to ease Micheal's concern for her health, and Micheal had to literally drag her away from the floor and back home after they had been there for four and a half hours because she would have stayed there all night long if he hadn't.

When they returned to Micheal's house and she was sitting on the bed in the guest room, Rain was completely worn out but still buzzing from the events of that night. The first thing she wanted to do was call Mark and tell him all about her evening but she didn't know if that was 'allowed' since they were suppose to be spending time away from each other or if he would just think she was checking up on him. After a minute of arguing with herself, Rain decided she was being stupid and picked up the phone to call Mark only to discover he wasn't home. She had slowly placed the receiver back in its cradle and started wondering where he was, and to her surprise she found herself becoming jealous and angry, thinking he had probably taken off the minute Micheal had picked her up and was happy to be rid of her problems. That lasted all of about two seconds when she mentally slapped herself for thinking the worst of Mark and creating a double standard. She had wanted him to go out and now that he did she was getting mad because he wasn't at home to answer her phone call? She had just had a great evening, wasn't he deserving of one of his own? ~Pretty pathetic, Rain~ she had scolded herself, ~You know he's at one of those many pool halls he frequents and you should be happy he's enjoying himself like you did tonight~.

Later that night as she was lying in bed, Rain discovered how hard it was to fall asleep without Mark at her side. She had been too tired the first night to even notice and fell right to sleep, but Rain noticed that night when she rolled over on her side and her arm went around Sasha's body instead of Mark's waist and her head stayed on the pillow instead of on Mark's chest. There was no goodnight kiss, no 'I love you', nothing but a dog's snoring. The next day wasn't going to come soon enough as far as Rain was concerned.

"Earth to Rain, are you still with me?" Micheal's voice interrupted her thoughts. Rain looked beside her and found Micheal there instead of by the TV. "You were staring at that clock like you were willing it to move faster. Is my company that horrible?"

"No...no, it's just..."

"You can't wait for Mark to get here?"

"Well, yeah. Sorry." Rain said.

"There's no reason to apologize because you miss him." Micheal assured her. He happened to look down and catch a glimpse of her engagement ring. Taking her hand, he moved it closer so he could look at the stone. "Did you two ever officially call off your engagement or are you still planning on getting married in December?"

"We, we don't discuss it." Rain said as she retrieved her hand and finished off her salad. Micheal immediately noticed she had that certain tone in her voice, that tone which told Micheal it was a sensitive subject she didn't want to talk about but needed to talk about. Not saying anything at first, Micheal just sat there and watched Rain for a few minutes as she ate her fruit and drank the rest of her juice. He wanted to ask her about the sudden mood change but knew it was up to Rain as to if the subject was discussed, he wasn't going to risk upsetting her right before Mark picked her up.

"If you're gonna ask about it, go ahead but would you please stop staring at me? You of all people know how much I hate that." Rain said when she finally reached her limit.

"Well I don't know exactly what to ask. You've at least discussed it, haven't you?"

"Mark brought the subject up once, about a month ago. Samantha had called to ask how I was doing and started talking about her wedding which led her to ask about ours." Rain started. "Later that night, he finally found the nerve to ask me if I still wanted to marry him. I never gave him an answer. Actually I completely ignored him for the rest of the night."

"Why did you do something like that?"

"It's hard to explain. I don't know if I can find the right words to describe why I'm reluctant to answer Mark." Rain said as she played with her engagement ring.

"Talk to me Rain. Help me understand what has changed."

Rain looked at Micheal like he was the dumbest person on earth. "Are you serious? You're actually asking me what has changed? LOOK AT ME! What had changed? My entire LIFE has changed. Everything has changed and I can't-"

"You can't what?"

"Micheal, right now my treatment isn't helping me that much. I do have my good days but overall, I don't feel that much better than when I first started my chemo. I don't have to have a doctor's degree to know I'm gonna have to have more treatments after this round of chemo or more surgery." Rain stopped and gazed out the window. "I'm, I'm considering not having anymore surgery even if the doctor says I need it."

"What?! You're gonna say no even if it will help you live?"

"I don't want to go through another surgery, I don't want to stay two or three more days in a hospital, and I'm afraid I won't make it through one more surgery because they still can't tell me why my heart gave them so many problems." Rain said. "The incintive to do the surgery and the chemo is no longer there. I'm only hoping to make it to Sam's wedding."

"The incintive is no longer there? Your family and friends are no longer worth fighting for?" Micheal asked, shocked.

Rain felt the tears welling up in her eyes. "That's exactly what I've been fighting for these past five months and I thought it would be enough at first but now, now I'm discovering that it isn't. You, my parents, Mark, none of you know what it's like to have cancer. You may know people who had cancer, but that can't compare to actually being in that position and being this sick. You don't know how it feels to be poked with a needle almost every week to receive chemo, drugs, fluids, to have blood work and tests done. To be so limited in what you're able to do, to see how it's affecting the people around you, to know you will never experience the joy of being a parent. You have no idea. I've tried to be strong, I've tried to fight this with everything I have, but it's starting to get the upper hand. I'm just too tired, I no longer have the strength or the will power. I just can't do it anymore."

Micheal wrapped his arms around Rain as the tears finally fell, tears she had locked away for the past five months until Micheal had brought them out of her. Listening to her tears made Micheal feel like a first class jerk because it was his questions and insistence on her talking to him which brought this on. How was he ever going to explain to Mark why his fiancee, who was suppose to be at his house to relax, was now red and puffy-eyed from bawling because of him?

"Shhh, Rain. I didn't mean to make you cry. I wouldn't have asked if I'd known it would upset you this much." Micheal whispered. "Please stop crying because it's making me feel like a horrible friend and if Mark sees you like this, he's gonna kill me on the spot without asking any questions."

Rain gave a sad chuckle. "He wouldn't kill you and this isn't your fault. I've let this build up for such a long time that it was bound to break out sooner or later. And before you say it, I know I should have said something to you or Mark but I didn't because I didn't want to bother or worry you."

"Well don't be afraid to talk to us the next time you feel like this."

"I'll try." Rain sighed.

"Now don't get mad or upset, but the reason you don't want to marry Mark, is it because you're afraid you'll die right after you marry him? Are you afraid you would be breaking your vows to him on some way?"

"Wow, sometimes it scares me how well you know me. That last statement is a major reason for my hesitation." Rain said. "Micheal, I can't stand in a church before family, friends, and God and say vows I know I can't keep. And when I say 'vows I can't keep', I'm not talking about actually breaking them. I mean I can't say them knowing my chances of surviving for any significant amount of time are very poor. It's not fair to me and more importantly it's not fair to Mark. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"I understand but I'm sure Mark would beg to differ."

"I know he would. He would probably say something sweet like 'I would be happy if you were my wife for only one day than if you were never my wife', but I just can't do it, it's not fair to him and I love him too much to do that to him. I don't need to get married just for the sake of being married before I die." Rain replied. "I also want him to move on after I'm gone and he's had time to grieve and try to find someone else because I don't want him to live the rest of his life alone. And I know he would probably never take off a wedding band I would put on his finger because then he would feel like he was cheating on me even in death."

"Whatever you do, don't tell him you want him to find someone else IF you die. That suggestion would really hurt him and you're right, he would never take that ring off his finger because in his mind and heart he would always be married to you." Micheal commented. "Just don't do it. He wouldn't listen to you even if you tried to talk to him."

"You're probably right. Maybe I'm thinking too much and too far ahead of myself about this amd everything else. Maybe I should wait and see what happens, after all, miracles have been known to happen." Rain wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and decided it was time to end this conversation and change the subject to a more pleasant one. "Enough of this sad talk. What did you pick for us to watch?"

"A movie you can never get tired of...'The Princess' Bride'." Micheal answered.

"Good choice. I definitely could use a good laugh right now."

~Has my truck suddenly become a magnet for every slow driver in the city of Nashville? I mean, come on, can't we at least drive the speed limit? Is that asking too much of this world~? Mark impatiently thought as he cursed the driver of the Toyota in front of him who was driving as if he were going through a school zone. This slower than a snail driver was tempting Mark to cross that double yellow line and speed past him, but with his luck, a cop would probably catch him right in the middle of the illegal act so he held back. ~I'm only five minutes away. I've waited all weekend to see her, what's five minutes more~? The weekend seemed to just crawl by for Mark and although he was suppose to have taken this time to do something fun for himself, he spent the majority of the weekend at home with Gus. He ended up having many conversations with that cat, especially when a favorite program of his and Rain's came on and Gus was the only one there to talk to. If anyone had seen how much he talked to that cat, they would have surely thought he was off his rocker. The only time he actually left the house to do anything was Saturday night when two of his friends from work pulled up on their bikes and asked him if he would like to tag along with them to a pool hall. It took ten minutes of convincing and persuading on their part before he finally gave in and said yes. After all, he knew Rain would wonder why he did nothing but lock himself up in the house when he had the chance to get out and not have to worry about her. He ended up having a great time in spite of his initial reluctance to go, so much fun that he didn't walk through the door of his house until two that morning. The first thing he did was check the answering machine which was empty, and he was surprised at how disappointed he felt when he didn't hear Rain's voice. That disappointment soon disappeare when he checked the caller ID and Micheal's number appeared...she had wanted to talk to him. The only thing that kept Mark from returning Rain's phone call was the hour of the night.

Much to his relief, the slow driver crept past Micheal's street without turning and Mark gratefully stepped on the gas and flew the rest of the way to the end of the street. When he pulled into the driveway, Mark's eyes immediately spotted her sitting in a chair on the porch with Sasha at her side and he could already see the big smile on her face.

Rain stood up from her chair and walked over to the top of the steps as Mark got out of the truck and made his way towards her. The excitement she felt was overwhelming...you would have thought she hadn't seen him in weeks instead of a mere two days. Mark stopped when he was standing in front of and two steps down from her so they were eye to eye, the smile on his face just about matched the one on Rain's face.

"Hey there beautiful." he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hey there yourself handsome." she giggled back as her arms went around his neck in a tight, almost choking hug.

"Miss me that much, huh?" he asked, his own hold of her being quite tight itself.

"You could say that." Rain answered as she looked at his face and brushed his hair away. "I know we both needed this, but next time let's make it one day or an evening apart. I'm too use to always having you there and I've discovered I don't like the feeling of being away from you for too long."

Mark threw his head back with a roar of laughter. "You took the words right out of my mouth!"

"You know what, I've had just about enough of you, your mouth, and your attitude. I don't care what you think about my decision and as far as I'm concerned, this subject is closed!" Rain screamed when they walked into the house. She jumped about ten feet when Mark slammed the door as hard as he could and stormed over to her.

"I don't care how fed up you are with me. We're gonna stand here and fight and scream until you realize that what you want to do is ABSOLUTELY STUPID!" he yelled back. This argument had been going on ever since they left the doctor's office. It started with snide comments being thrown back and forth, but now it was a full scale, intense screaming match that was escalating and getting worse and louder.

"Oh it's stupid, is it? Well I guess if you say it's stupid than it must be so because you know so much. Hell, it's my body and my health but what do I know about it right? Mark says it's stupid so I should just do what he says."

"Now you're gonna be condescending to me?!" Mark began clinching and unclinching his fists, hoping it would calm him down...it wasn't working.

"Aren't you doing the same to me?"

"What I'm trying to do is to get through that thick damn skull of yours so that you'll listen to me." Mark answered and threw up his hands. "Maybe I'm just imagining things. Were you not there in the same room with me when the doctor said he didn't want you to stress yourself by traveling to Texas?"

"He advised against it but didn't say I shouldn't go to Texas." Rain countered.

"Would you please stop acting like a bitch for just one minute? Because if you did, you would realize he WAS saying you shouldn't go."

The next thing Mark knew, Rain's hand had connected with the side of his face. It actually caused him to move back a step or two. "Don't you DARE call me that again!" She walked into the living room leaving Mark stunned. He should have walked away and let well enough alone, but he was beyond being reasonable at that point and followed her into the living room.

"Why are you so hell bent on doing this? It's just a wedding Rain. Yes, it's my sister's and yes I would hate to miss it, but when it's all said and done, it's just a wedding." Mark stopped and took a deep breath. "I can't believe how set you are on this. You just finished your last round of chemo a week ago, the doctor said you would need more treatment because your tests show the first course didn't work, and you're willing to push your treatment back by weeks, risking you life and chances of survival just so you can go to a wedding."

~Why can't you just leave it alone~? "My reasons for wanting to go are more than just attending her wedding."

"What other possible reasons could you have?" Mark asked.

"I'm not going to discuss them with you while you're in this wonderful mood of yours." Rain answered as she folded her arms across her chest. "I don't feel comfortable discussing anything with you at this point with that attitude."

Well there it was, the final straw as far as Mark was concerned. "Great! Now you're hiding things from me? Now you can't trust me enough to share anything with me?"

"Don't twist my words around! My reasons are very important to me and I won't have you shooting them down as insignificant or trivial just so you can keep me here in Nashville." Rain began massaging her forehead. ~Just what I don't need right now, a major migraine on top of Mark's yelling~.

"Fine, whatever you say. Don't talk to me, don't share anything with me, don't trust me, whatever. But hear me and hear me good, I'm not going to allow you to go to Texas and that's all there is to it."

Rain couldn't hold back her laughter. "You're not going to allow me? I wasn't aware of ever asking for your permission, and just who the f#ck do you think you are, my father or something? Last time I checked, you weren't my keeper. As a matter of fact, you're suppose to be my equal, my companion, and you're suppose to respect my wishes as I would yours. You have NO right telling me what I can and cannot do!"

"Do I not have a right to be concerned about your health? Do I not have a right to put you above anything else because that's what I'm doing right now."

"Yes, you do, but you don't have a right to keep me here without my consent. You don't have a right to give me orders." Rain replied. "And now it's my turn to say get this through your thick skull. I'm going regardless of what you or some doctor says. At least I know Micheal won't keep me from doing what I want. He would support me, unlike you, and perhaps I should just accompany him to Texas instead of having to deal with you."

"Here we go again with the 'praise Micheal' crap. Since Micheal is so damned perfect and can do no wrong in your eyes, why don't you and him go and have your fun in Texas. Oh but why stop there? Why don't you become engaged to him? I never understood why you didn't since he seems to be the epitome of the perfect guy to you and I bet you wouldn't have any qualms about marrying him right now and you wouldn't leave him hanging and second guessing himself like you have me." Mark was know yelling at the top of his lungs. "Just go ahead and run to him if he's the one you really want to be with, and get off my back about him, but STOP COMPARING US! We're not the same nor will we ever be, so stop throwing him in my face every time I don't agree with you." He then walked out of the room and stomped down the hallway.

"Oh that's very mature of you!" Rain yelled after him. A few minutes later, Mark came back into the room and threw an overnight bag and his helmet into a chair. "So you're gonna run away? You know you can't finish what you started so you're gonna slink off like a defeated little coward with your tail between your legs. Things didn't turn out like Mark wanted, Mark didn't get his way, so Mark's walking away just like every other man before him who were also cowards."

"It would be in your best interests not to say such things or compare me to the likes of Jason or your biological father." Mark's tone was as cold as the look in his eyes. Rain was shocked. Was he silently threatening her? For the first time in their relationship, Rain was scared of Mark. That look was reserved for others, he wasn't suppose to use it on her. "I'm not running away like a coward. I'm leaving because I can't deal with you right now in a calm manner and I can't stand here and support a decision that might be deleterious to your health. If that makes me a bad person, than so be it. I'm not going to say it’s alright with me just because it's what you want to hear. I can't do it and I won't do it. My sister would understand if we weren't there because she cares about you and agrees with me that your life is more important than a wedding." He angrily snatched up the phone and dialed Micheal's number, asking him to come over. When the phone call was finished, Mark threw the phone across the room, narrowly missing Rain who had slowly begun to move away from him.

"I need to get out of here and cool off. I need to get away from you before I cross that line you shouldn't cross and before one of us says something very injuriuos that can't be taken back...though I'm afraid that's already happened." Mark picked up his bag and helmet. "Micheal is on his way to stay with you." He looked at Rain one last time and walked to the door which led to the garage. Rain didn't say anything, she was too shocked and scared, and stayed rooted to her spot as the garage door opened and closed. She could see Mark sitting on his bike and waiting for Micheal through the living room window.

Ten minutes later, Micheal pulled into the driveway next to Mark. Rain saw Mark gesturing wildly just before she heard the engine start and the screeching of tires. ~So this is how it ends~.

When Micheal walked into the house, Rain looked at him briefly, slowly made her way up the hallway, and quietly closed the bedroom door. Micheal looked from the front door to the bedroom and finally down at Sasha who was at his feet. "At least you're not walking or driving away from me and actually look happy to see me. More than I can say for your owners."

"Ask for a D, ask for a D! Dont ask for a G, ask for a..." Micheal stopped and looked at Sasha, shaking his head. "They never listen to ya, do they Sasha?" The dog answered with a low bark and a wag of her tail which caused Micheal to chuckle. He turned his attention back to the TV as the next contestant spun the wheel. Wheel of Fortune had always been one of his favorite shows, so you could just imagine how happy he was when the powers that be created the Game Show Network. He had actually had the TV tuned to the station for the past five hours (as pathetic as that sounded) trying to pass the time away, and the saddest thing of all was it was working between him yelling at the screen and Sasha barking at him.

Five hours had passed since Mark drove away like a bat out of hell and Rain had disappeared to her bedroom. Of that time, Rain had spent a total of about five minutes actually talking to Micheal, telling him a short version of what happened and asking him to get her migraine medicine. Since then, Rain had basically locked herself in her room, saying she wanted to be left alone and didn't want to talk anymore.

"Well, I think I should turn this TV off while I still have a few brain cells left." Micheal said outloud after the show had ended. He looked down at his wrist to check the time. "Guess he isn't going to call after all like he said be-" Micheal stopped and grabbed the phone when it started ringing. "It's about time you decided to pick up the phone."

"And hello to you, too." Mark replied.

~Oh brother, sounds like we've been enjoying ourselves~, Micheal thought when he detected the slur in Mark's voice. "Had enough time to calm down?"

"Not really but the shots of Jack and the few Jack and cokes I've had so far sure are helping." Mark said, holding one said drink in his hand at that moment.

"Think drinking is a wise thing to do right now?"

"Look, I don't need a lecture from you also telling me what I should and should not be doing, so just spare me or I'm hanging up." Mark growled.

"Alright, alright, alright." Micheal said, shaking his head. "Where are you anyways?"

"Alabama."

"Alabama?! How the hell did you end up in Alabama?"

"Jumped on the interstate and drove untill I reached the coast. It's very nice down here." Mark said as he downed his drink and fixed another one. "A friend of mine is letting me crash on her couch."

"Her couch? This just keeps getting better and better." Micheal commented. "Not planning on doing anything stupid, are we?"

"Might as well have some fun and I'm in the right spot for that. Rain already thinks I'm a horrible person, why don't I just prove it for her. That way she can be with you, who she probably actually wanted all along." Mark bitterly said. "Perhaps I've been fooling myself into thinking we should stay together. This may be a sign telling us to just throw in the towel."

"Mark, you do that and I'll..."

"Kill me, hurt me, refuse to be my friend anymore? I already know that." Mark said. " I think the alcohol is starting to talk for me, I don't know why I said that. I couldn't do it anyways because I'm too much of a coward as Rain so kindly told me this afternoon."

"No, you couldn't do it because you know it's wrong and you love her too much to hurt her like that." Micheal emphasized. "And I know you're not going to throw in any towel just yet. You're still too angry and hurt to be making any serious, life altering decisions right now."

Mark paused for a moment. "How much did she tell you?"

"I got the three minute condensed version, but I know just about everything that happened." Micheal answered.

"Well, do you agree with her? You think I should just forget about all my misgivings and go along with what she wants. Think I'm wrong for not backing down? Do you think I'm a horrible, disgusting person?"

"You may not care or give a damn, but I happen to agree with you. I don't want her going to Texas anymore than you do." Micheal laughed. "Guess I'm not as perfect as you thought I was."

"She told you what I said, didn't she."

"Uh-huh, but I don't hold it against you. And just for the record, if she wanted to be with me, she WOULD be with me right now and not you. She isn't one to play with people's feelings or settle for something she doesn't want. She wants to be with you, not me, and you know that so don't screw it up by questioning her love for you."

"I know I shouldn't have said it, but I just got fed up. Seems like every time I screw up, she brings you up. 'Micheal would do this for me', Micheal would go with me', 'Micheal would support me', and on, and on, and on. You're a good friend and all but sheesh, a guy can only take so much of constantly being compared to someone else."

"Hey, I understand what you're saying and I agree. I'd get sick of it, too." Micheal said. "The one thing I don't agree with is how you both handled this. What would convince you to say some of the things you did is beyond me. Calling her a bitch was the wrong thing to do, Mark, but saying you weren't going to allow her to do was probably the biggest mistake you've ever made. As stubborn as she is, it would make her more deternined to go."

"So I see now, but there's more to it than her just being stubborn. She said so herself." Mark started to take a drink but the thought of it suddenly sickened him and he pushed the glass away. "What do you think I should do?"

"Oh no, I'm not going to play that game again. I still vividly remember the last time I offered any advice to you guys." Micheal warily said.

"This is different. I'm actually asking you what I should do and I'm ready to hear it even if I don't agree with it."

Micheal ran his hand over his face and took a deep breath, closing his eyes and having a silent argument with himself. When he reached a decision, Micheal let out the breath he was holding and brought he receiver back to his mouth. "Okay, first you should stay down there for a few days so you both can settle down and be able to calmly talk to each other without erupting into World War III when you come back here. Second, you should apologize to her for the things you said, especially the bitch comment, and not just you, but Rain should apologize also. And third, even though I don't want her to, you should go with her to Texas.

Mark could live with the first two suggestions, but he had to hold himself back when Micheal said the third. "And why should I take her to Texas? You just said I shouldn't take her."

"Because it's not the actual wedding she's so determined to see, but the people who will be there." Micheal answered. "Think about it Mark. You'll be there, I'll be there, Sam will be there, your parents will be there, and my parents will be there. That's everybody she loves and cares about, with the exception of her parents, in one place. Rain's thinking ahead, she's thinking this may be her last chance to see many of these people and she's not going to throw that away. That's why she's willing to put off her treatment."

Mark fell silent...that DID make sense. Why hadn't he been able to think of that on his own? ~Because it's the last thing you want to think about, her dying~, he thought. Mark really felt sick now. "So this huge fight we had was for nothing. I got pissed and angry at her, yelled at her, basically threatened her, and just left her in Nashville without a second thought for what? Because I thought she was only being difficult, but she wasn't. I really, REALLY made a complete mess of things now and I don't even know how I'm gonna get myself out of this one. Why didn't she just tell me right off the bat? If I'd known, I wouldn't have been such an a\\$$hole. I would have still been concerned, but I might not have been so closed-minded."

"I don't know why she didn't tell you. Probably thought you would still fight with her over it." Micheal answered.

"I'm gonna have to find a way to make this up to her. That is if she hasn't taken off her engagement ring and thrown it down the toilet by now or had you throw my things out in the yard."

"No, she hasn't taken her ring off and she hasn't asked me to rid the house of your presence, so stop beating yourself up over it. That won't help at all or change anything that has already happened." Micheal replied. "If you want to make it up to her, stay down there and clear your head, sober up, stay away from the liquor, try to keep yourself out of trouble, and come back to her ready to talk and move on. I'm actually not that worried because you and Rain are the only people I know who can have these knock down, drag-out fights and end up closer because of them. There are easier ways, you know."

"Rain and I have never been able to take the easy way in anything we've done."

"Maybe you should try it sometime." Micheal suggested. "It makes things a whole lot easier on everybody involved. We'll see you in a few days."

"Alright." Mark hung up the phone and walked over to the sink, pouring out the rest of his drink before locking up the Jack Daniels.

~Same tired song, another tired verse. Once again, I'm in a car after being stuck in a hospital where I just started yet another round of chemo and was poked and prodded with a thousand needles and asked a thousand times 'How are you?', 'Does anything feel wrong?', 'Do you feel sick?'. It's always the same worn out, tired questions even though it's a whole new group of people. And in the middle of this, I have my mother hovering over me, treating me like a helpless eight year old and taking every chance she can to say anything cruel about Mark and telling me over and over again to leave him. Though it looks like I don't have to worry about that because he may have already left me. Oh what a wonderful, happy life I'm leading right now. I know if anybody could, they would just LOVE to trade places with me. After all, who wouldn't be jealous and envious of my life~? Rain shook her head and began to play with the buttons on her sweater and she watched various people from the neighborhoods leading to her house fly past her window. She watched as children jumped rope, as people jogged down the side walk either by themselves or with their dogs, as basketball games were played in driveways, and as people rode their bikes or roller bladed along the street wit han animosity and resentment that just about choked her with its intensity.

Eight months ago, she had been one of them, she had been normal and healthy. Eight months ago she was the one who had been walking along the sidewalk with her dogs or riding a bike in the afternoon sun. Now she was only able to do those things in her head where she always had enough energy and she didn't have to worry about any of the consequences. Rain shivered as a chill ran through her body causing her to wrap the sweater tighter around her body and to turn the vent away from herself.

Seeing this, Micheal turned down the air conditioning and moved the remaining vent towards himself. "That better?"

"Yeah." Rain said absently. She was too preoccupied looking at a beautiful Golden Retriever, who reminded her so much of Ginger, running through a sprinkler with a couple of kids. ~Wonder if our child or childern would have loved dogs as much as I do~?

"Has your migraine gone away?"

"Yeah." Rain answered. Some of the pain still lingered, but it was at a tolerable level. Rain's constant battle with migraines was responsible for her having to spend an extra day at the hospital because the doctor wanted to make sure it wasn't related to the new drug she was receiving. Rain could have told them herself it was due to the drug but to that stupid argument she kept reminding herself of and everything that goes with being in a hospital, but they wouldn't have listened anyways.

"Can you say anything besides yeah?"

It was too tempting, she had to do it. "Yeah."

Micheal glanced over at Rain, who was staring straight ahead, and saw how she was trying to fight smiling but the smile won in the end. "I do believe that's the first smile I've seen on your lovely face in more than a week."

"Not much to smile about these days." Rain replied and went back to fooling with her button.

Micheal nodded his head. ~Can't blame you for saying that~. On top of starting another treatment, he knew her mother was trying her last nerve and then there was the whole thing with Mark...not exactly material to jump up and down and get happy about. Bringing up Mark's name made Micheal wonder why he hadn't come home yet, deciding instead to spend an entire week in Alabama instead of two or three days. ~Probably scared he'll come home and she won't be there...or maybe my opinion of him was too high and he isn't coming back at all, doubtful but possible~.

~Home at last~, Rain thought as Micheal parked the car and walked to her side of the car. Rain wrapped her arms around Micheal's waist after he threw her bag over his shoulder and an arm around her shoulder and the two made their way to the front door.

Micheal and Rain's ears perked up once they were inside the house and heard sounds from the TV drifting towards them from the living room. Micheal knew the TV wasn't on when he left the house that morning, so they slowly walked to the entrance of the room to see who was there and saw Mark in a chair with Gus.

Mark jumped out of the chair when he saw Rain and started towards her but stopped when Micheal held up his hand. Rain glanced at him then looked up the hallway, saying nothing. She just wanted to get to the bedroom so she could lie down. Mark sank back down in the chair as they disappeared around the corner, trying to decifer the look in Rain's eyes.

Mark headed for the bedroom and made it just past the living room when he stopped and doubled back to where he started, convincing himself she wouldn't want to see him. This little game of walking in and out of the room had been going on for ten minutes. He would find the courage and nerve to make his way to Rain just to have it leave him when he was in the hallway. ~I've never been this anxious and on edge in my life...save the time I wrecked my dad's car~. Right before Micheal went home, Mark asked him if Rain had mentioned whether she wanted to see him or not and his answer was no, she hadn't said anything.

"Okay, I'm gonna swallow my pride and just do it before I wear a hole in the carpet." Mark said outloud. He took a deep breath and almost ran to the bedroom, stopping just outside the doorway.

Rain was on her side with her back towards him and an afghan spread over her body. Mark heard the stereo playing and recognized the sountrack for the movie Phenomenon. ~Made it this far. Now do I go over to her or just stand here for the rest of the night~? Opting for the first answer, Mark moved to the bed and sat down, touching her shoulder so she would know he was there but she had already seen his reflection in the mirror on the wall. When Rain did nothing, Mark grew bolder and stretched out his body beside hers, snaking an arm underneath her neck and around her shoulder while draping his other arm around her waist, not evem daring to hold her hand. Rain neither stiffened nor tried to pull away from him so Mark drew her closer to him. Minutes ticked by with neither saying anything, both trying to organize their thoughts and preferring to listen to the music which was filling the room.

"Where were you this morning?" Mark tentatively asked.

"The hospital, starting chemo again."

"Bu-but I thought, I thought you were gonna, gonna wait until after the wedding."

"I was but Micheal and I reached a compromise. I would go ahead and start chemo since you didn't want me to put it off and if I felt good enough, he wouldn't fight me on going to Texas and he would talk to you about backing off." Rain answered. "He made me see things from your perspective and I wasn't as hot headed as I was before, so I was willing to listen to them. I thought what we came up with was fair enough."

"So you didn't need surgery?"

"The doctor wanted to try this and make surgery a last resort because of my previous problems."

"Have any trouble with this drug?"

"I felt a little queasy but otherwise no." Rain replied. "Mark, do you want out?"

Mark froze, her question catching him totally offguard. ~Is this where she tells me to get out of her house? Am I suppose to read between the lines and pack my things and go~?

"Do you want out?" Rain repeated, her voice was flat and absent of any emotion.

"Is that what you think I want?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well, I don't think I'm jumping the gun or keying to myself or to you when I say I don't want to leave and I don't want out."

"Why did you stay away so long then? Why didn't you at least call me?"

"I actually came back the day after we fought and stayed with some friends and I also slept in the shop. I thought it better to stay away after I talked with Micheal, I thought there was no chance in hell you'd want to continue this relationship, and I was ashamed of my behaviour when I learned the real reason behind your eargerness to go to Sam's wedding." Mark answered.

"Micheal told you a lot on the phone, huh?"

"Enough for me to rethink how I acted and treated you."

"So you're here out of guilt."

"That's not it at all." Mark replied. "I'm here because I want to be with you."

"I'm going to give you the option to leave, to end this without anybody being the bad guy and without any hard feelings." Rain said. "It would hurt me more than I could ever begin to express, but I don't want you to stay with me if you're no longer happy and I certainly don't want you to stay out of guilt."

"I don't want to take that option. I'm going to turn your offer down because I'm here to try and work things out between us, not out of guilt or because I'm afraid to leave." Mark said. "I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of someone's sympathy, staying with you only because they think you can't handle them leaving, and I would be the first to say we need to go our seperate ways if it came down to that."

"If you're serious about this then something's gonna have to change. We can't keep doing this to each other." Rain quietly said. "I know it's normal to fight over small stuff because every couple can't agree on everything, but when you start calling me a bitch, you say you've had enough of me, you look at me like you want to hit me, and then you leave without a word as to where you're going or when you're coming back...this means we have to take a step back and see what needs to be changed. The fighting has gone too far when we start insulting and hurting each other on purpose and that's what we were doing that night. I want it to stop, regardless of what I first told Micheal about it being our way of venting off steam. I want it to stop. I'm fed up with it and I'm sure you are too."

Mark buried his head in her neck and said nothing as she talked. He wanted to say he was sorry but it seemed the wrong thing to do at the moment, the word seemed empty and meaningless after the things he had said, some intentional, some unintentional. It was best to just listen as she let everything out.

"Now don't get me wrong, I understand this isn't entirely your fault. I'm at least half if not more responsible for us getting to this point, and the first thing I need to do is apologize for my behaviour and the things I said to you, especially throwing Micheal in your face." Rain stopped briefly to pull the afghan over her shoulders when another chill ran through her. "It's a nasty habit of mine and I should have known better than to do it, but I did anyways. It's just that Micheal was a first in many things...the first person I let in after Cassandra died, the first person I trusted, the first person I allowewd to see me vunerable, and of course the first guy I ever made love to. He's never let me down, never given me any reason not to trust him, so he IS the perfect friend to me and that's why I stack every other friendship or relationship against his. But that's not the main reason I did it, I did it because I knew mentioning Micheal in any way, especially if I said maybe I should have been with him all along, would really enrage and infuriate you and that's what I wanted after the way you made me feel that night. I was angry at you, so angry I used your jealousy over Micheal once being my lover against you. There was no mistaking the look in your eyes that night I told you."

~Yeah, jealous just about summed it up~, Mark thought. It had been a childish reponse but see how anybody else would react when they found out their best friend had once slept with their fiancee, even though it was in the past. Bet they wouldn't feel happy go lucky. "Well if it makes you feel any better, it worked to a T."

"No, it doesn't make me feel any better. It shouldn't have gotten to you because there's no reason to feel jealous of Micheal. If I was confused at all about my feeling for Micheal, if I thought for even one second I wanted to be with him instead of you, I never would have become engaged to you."

"Deserved that one, huh? There were some things you said I didn't deserve though."

"The same could be said for you."

"True, and I apologize for my part in this as well, particularly for my calling you a bitch." Mark said. "So what do we do now?"

"I don't have the foggiest idea where to even start." Rain answered. "Figure we'll end up doing what we always do when you and I have a disagreement...put it behind us and move on. I guess we need to settle the one thing which started all this shit in the first place. Are you going to come with me to Sam's wedding if my health will allow it, and if you are, will you be able to hold back the comments, not blame your sister for my going, and let me enjoy the evening without you breathing down my neck or should I just go with Micheal? Don't sugar coat it for me either, tell me the honest truth. I'd rather you say no and mean it than say yes because you think it's what I want to hear." Rain said. "Yes or no...what's the first answer off the top of your head?"

"Yes."

Rain rolled on to her back and turned towards him for the first time since he walked in the room. "Answer me again. I need to know if the answer from your mouth is the same as the answer in your eyes."

Without hesitation, his eyes locked firlmy onto hers, Mark answered her question again. "Yes."

Rain continued to look at him for a minute, staring so intentely Mark wondered if she was trying to see into his soul. When she was satisfied he meant what he was saying, Rain moved on her side, turning her back to him once more. "Thank you."

"For what, Rain?"

"For giving me this one thing." she softly answered.